Austin City Liberals

So, I just got back from my first visit to Austin, Texas, as one of more than 2,000 liberals (read: nerds and hippies) on-site for the first-ever Netroots Nation conference. It was, shall I say, quite intriguing. A lot of very smart folks, some annoying folks, and plenty of people who dedicate their lives to doing God's Work.

Clearly, the biggest news of the weekend was a sur

prise visit from that silly environmentalist Al Gore, there to push his selfish and greedy notion that the world is falling apart from greenhouse gases. What a jerk. Using all his "facts" and "compelling rhetoric" and "undeniable truths."

As a proud oil-company apologist, I must say I was particularly displeased by Al Gore pointing out the dramatic drop in the cost of renewable energy technology in the past few years -- as much as an 80 percent dip in the costs to harness solar and wind, for instance. And he compared it to my beloved gasoline.

"When the demand for oil goes up, the cost goes up," he said. "But when the demand for renewable energy sources goes up, the cost goes down."

Oh, shut up. Just shut up. The price for oil goes up because people LOVE oil. It makes them feel strong and immortal to literally burn the fossils of dinosaurs. It's like lighting your cigar with a $100 bill. Or breaking a pool cue over the back of a bouncer.

Coupled with Gov. Howard Dean's passionate opening keynote, you'd think the Democratic Party had grown some cojones and learned how to rhetorically fight for their positions. Thankfully, Nancy Pelosi reminded everyone just how unnecessarily complicated the Democratic message machine can be when it took her five minutes to get to her point when an audience member asked, "What does the Democratic Party stand for?" She hemmed and hawed and spent an inordinate amount of time talking about procedural victories in the House. I'm still not clear on what she thinks....Now THAT'S the donkeys I know!